As a Christian, I thought I had it all together. I was sold out for the Lord and in my mind, there was no turning back. I worked vigorously within the ministry and I made myself available whenever a need arose.
I found out that I was pregnant and although I was excited about my upcoming journey, I was struggling emotionally. And as a result, spiritually, I was dying.
It all started with a dream. I was alone in an ocean, and I could see four tornadoes coming directly towards me. I wasn’t sure what the dream meant, but it kept recurring.
I was rushed to the emergency room because I went into labor two months early. On my way to the hospital, it was evident that my blood pressure was extremely high. At the hospital, I had three seizures that caused me to slip into a coma. I eventually stopped breathing and was put on life support. The doctors then focused on my babies because they were sure that I wouldn’t make it.
I remember waking up in the ICU unaware of what had happened. The doctors and nurses were stunned. I later learned that they didn’t think I would pull through. The doctors completely gave up on me because there were so many complications, including many blood clots in my stomach. I remember so clearly one doctor telling me that the only one who could help me now was God.
Somehow, I wasn’t discouraged. As I lay in my hospital bed, I used this time to meditate and reflect on my life. I realized that I had failed God. I couldn’t understand how God had given me a second chance at life even after turning my back on him. It was then that I realized that God truly loved and cared for me. I made a vow that going forward, my goal was to put God first. I was determined to have a personal relationship with Him once again.
I am here today only by the grace of God! I’m healthy, happy and still standing! God has been so good to me, and I promise to never let him go because he didn’t give up on me. This experience has kept me going; and, I pray that it will serve as encouragement to someone else.
– Texcique Barnett